Anonymous said: haave u ever been dumped? have any advice for some1 who is heartbroken? </3</3</3
plenty of times. generally speaking, getting dumped is a pretty strong indicator that that person isn’t the right person for you to be spending a ton of time with, even if they have a bunch of things that you think you want. my advice is to not do what i did for years, meaning:
- discipline yourself vigilantly every time you find yourself ruminating.
- have a backup thing to think about instead (aka get a fucking hobby, project, etc).
- do not think about how there are “so many fish in the sea”; think instead about what you would do if you knew there wasn’t a next fish coming down the pike, and if you find that upsetting, think about why (hint: it seriously doesn’t have to be upsetting at all).
- do NOT repeat DO NOT LOOK FOR SIGNS FROM THE UNIVERSE, THE UNIVERSE IS NOT TALKING TO YOU ABOUT WHO YOU ARE “MEANT TO BE WITH” AT ANY MOMENT, COINCIDENCES ARE NOT THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF COSMIC INSTRUCTIONS ON THE DESTINY OF YOUR GENITALS, learn to laugh off weird and frustrating coincidences as strictly coincidences. bonus tip: if you usually read horoscopes, stop. seriously.
those are some things i learned to stop doing, and it benefited me humungously. some things i DID do that were good, or at least interesting:
- do lots of things by yourself, without your friends. maybe things ONLY you like. lots of people don’t know how to be their own friends, and their minds get junked up with subconscious perceptions of who they’re supposed to be in relation to other people they know.
- when you think about or wind up seeing someone/something you’re obsessing over and it causes you pain, stop and think seriously, what would it be like if i didn’t HAVE to think about that thing? NOTICE HOW AMAZINGLY FUCKING RELAXING THAT WOULD BE AND DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.
- i’m not sure about this one, but somebody once advised me, as a therapeutic practice, to take a picture of myself every day. like, indefinitely. i would amend this to maybe say don’t make them selfies? make them only for you? i don’t know. i don’t know what my conclusion is, i just think it’s an interesting notion.
i think that’s all i got.
still mulling — i mean, wouldn’t it be actively offensive if there are like people suffering violence oppression and starvation all over the world and the universe is busy trying to tell you who will bang you by blowing a thrown-out piece of a newspaper with one of your ex’s favorite words on it over your foot?
really good advice for self-care & friendships too ^^^@3 months ago with 103 notes